Spring-like weather is here today, for the past (couple of days)~say it with pedro's accent, i have been able to wear sandals, and not have to lug around outerwear. Along with this weather comes the responsibility to spend more time outdoors, and I really intend to do so, weather permitting.

In an IM conversation, I was reminded that I was thought of as being, "too cool" and "unapproachable" as suprising as that was to hear I can see how that would be, and it is mostly my fault and in a way how I "wanted" to be perceived because growing up i was never cool at all. For the longest time I always wanted people to react to me in a "damn that kid is good" but in reality:

"ALL I WANT TO BE IS APPROACHABLE!!"

I am working on that, lending credit where credit is due and taking time to make time for the simple things.

Today for a class assignment I went on a tour of UNM's recycling facilites, say what? yes they have quite an impressive setup, and the director of the small program is very passionate. The staff is dedicated to the ideals of recycling, reusing, and reducing waste, and I am working on producing a media campaign for them and really enjoy the challenge.

Lately, I have been trying to talk to people I normally would not, and what I come to find is that I am learning a lot about them, and they in turn are learning about me, I apologize to those of you who I have not talked to much in the past, but you must forgive me, verbalization is something new to me, being that I couldnt really converse until i was 16yrs old, so talking is relatively new to me. a weird concept but something i hope people can work with me on.

I recently saw a former high school religion teacher, who informed me that she had used a paper i wrote for her class way back in 99' to present at a couple of different conferences in the past few years, the topic was "if life were easy..." And i remember that i wrote that "if life were easy, it would not be worth living, going on about my struggle thusfar with my speech impediment, and she told me that when she first read it, she cried, not my intent, and that she did not realize this was going on. she also said that other people had asked to use my paper to advocate for improvements in the diagnosis and treatment of speech problems. Thinking about this over the weekend is kinda what put me in an ill mood. But, i dont feel like i've done anything ginormous, but just tried to communicate how it feels to be trapped inside your mind. people place too much importance on outward appearances as i have come to find. many people dont realize i have this problem, except for the minor occurances, but what really triggered me to think about getting better, was seeing a grown man with such a bad speech impediment that he would quake and shake while trying to force out the words. Rather than forcing the words out like i had, or getting anxious, i had to slow down my thought process, i was already done visualizing the sentence before a word was said, and i found out that if i slow it down, breathe and stop when a sound was hard to make, i would be fine, and with practice i could get a word out, two words, etc, until i was making coherent and concise sentences just like everyone else, no more repeating words or medications. I plan to write a book about it once i get some time. the mind is a powerful thing.

in other news, UNM is here at my house working on conduit, lets see what they trash this time.

well on to class and whatnot. enjoy everything enjoyable!