I'm gonna try to be myself this time

It takes four days to get to like me, it takes two to want to leave. The part that really gets me are the moment in between. I lie to get a little, and laugh at every little thing, she is high on information and now im low on self esteem, im gonna try to be myself this time. but myself will wonder why.

Im a hundred kinds of crazy but im only one of fine. one sweet little angel willl let me speak my mind, all ive ever donw these days is put my process down, shes making her decision and im losing all my ground.

easy does it now, keep your damn mouth shut, she thinks your hot already. dont go and press your luck, no news is good news. coming you gotta wait to find you know you are going to blow it every single time. i think im gonna try to be myself, althought myself will wonder why.

Im gonna try one more time...

What is with all the gibberish above? well rewind about 1 year ago today, to be exact, and its an accurate account of (somewhat similar) to when and where I met katie. It was at a birthday party for someone, at that point, i hardly knew. previous to being an "Arch-Nemesis" and the one nice thing Richard L. Ever did for me. It was a pretty lame night at the house, like 363...so far that year. I had all but broken up with my then g/f. when in i go, to a party where i know no one really but dylan and a few of my 'bro's" Not really my style, then a framiliar voice appears on the stereo, in my anti-social ways i think of the most sarcastic thing i can, to get a reaction, "oh is this jm? now i can stay at this party, or something like that, then questions about guster and howie day, some stuff i have a vague knowledge of, then we watch some shows i have seen, thanks to many sleepless nights of being unhappy with my then situation. then came the rain, it was time to go, though i wanted to stay, but in a moment of desperation really i lean over and give this girl who has taken a liking or leaning to me, my info, because what she didnt know that i knew then is that i knew that this was not going to be the last time is saw her. fast forward to about three or four days later, then i get a call in the evening, a promise to meet up, meeting up at a pep rally, hanging out in a friends dorm, and a walk home, higher than ever. now fast forward 12 months later and basically what this all means is:

Damn I'm Lucky I gave that girl my number! No..thats not it!....wait.....

I Love Katie, if you are able to read this, thank you for everything you have shown me, everything we have been through both good and not so good has meant so much to me. I look forward to 12 months from now and beyond, and even right now!

Editors Note: The above picture is not of me, its of my man bill gates courtesy of google.com.