Reading books, something I don't get to do a lot of on my own time. Something I have to do at work, but to read for fun had become foreign. In college I would read four or five books a week for my courses. I decided to try to read a few books I had received recently, and it was a great distraction from the current state of things, if even for a little while. It helps to break up the roller coaster of thoughts and scenarios running through my mind. Learning about the experiences of other through books also expands the mind, and realm of possibilities. It has been an exhausting week.

I got a random call from a friend last night, wanting me to explain to them how to use a web cam on the computer. At first I thought it was weird, but to know someone was thinking about me as knowledgeable was comforting. This was also a welcomed interruption from the emotions that had built up. The temporary escape was nice.

The quote from the conversation that stuck out to me was:

"I guess when you've won an Indianapolis 500 race, you come up with excuses when the car fails or crashes, when in reality you don't know how to drive any more."

I can relate to being a stubborn driver, I have wrecked more equipment in my time in motor sport then I can list on this website. A necessary evil of being a successful driver is to push limits beyond what others have done before you. You clear your mind of anxiety by tuning everything out and focusing on the task at hand, winning. Sometimes you tune out everything beyond reasonable levels, the warning signs, the danger, the voice talking to you on the radio, and keep pushing until everything fails, and you are out of the race. If you only you had listened you could have made it to the finish. Sometimes the big win seems to be the goal. When in reality it just as important to finish. Remembering why you drive in the first place. The passion for the sport.

I need to remember that.