The End is Sharp and Sweet

I'm in the "can't put thoughts together" stage right now. My literal and spiritual self are backwards. Funerals do that. And I unexpectedly entered the rosary yesterday night thinking I'd just be there. Only to find I was named a pallbearer. Pallbearer, carrier of your deceased loved one from here to forever. Needless to say, I was unprepared and honored. Today we took Great-Grandma from her church, the place of so many events over the past 100 years of her life, she was indeed the oldest living memeber of Canejos, County, Matriarch to my family, and the symbol of strength and perseverence. It was gone in the physical sense, And I was carrying "it" literally to the burial. Driving past the original family home, now over 150 years old, only walls now, past the old family farm, now owned by someone else, and past so many memories from my childhood summers and the many in attendance. It was like those things were beyond reach now. But a sense of overwhelming calm reached over me once we placed her in her final resting place next to my great grandfather at that desert plot. The world is now Heavy.

Out of all of this a new sense of purpose and vision for the future. I can only hope to live half as well as she did.